You Know You're in New Zealand When...

We’ve all woken up at one time or another and wondered “where am I?” (or “who am I?” but I can’t help you with that one). And if you find yourself in that confusing, disoriented state, never fear. I’m here to help you out. The following is a list of funny, weird, and wonderful things I’ve noticed about New Zealand after living here for 10 months. It is also a foolproof way to discover if you are or are not in the country New Zealand.

Note: If you realize you are not in NZ by taking this little test, you may still not know where you are, but at least you’ll know one place you’re not.

You will undoubtedly know you’re in New Zealand when:

• The birds you see don’t fly
• Supermarket rotisserie chickens are stuffed with bacon and the salads are topped with it
• Sheep graze in normal-size suburban yards
• Girls play netball (seemingly a less physical form of basketball)
• Pineapple lumps and jet planes are popular candies
• People drive 3 hours to go shopping
• MC Hammer and the Friends theme song play on the radio
• There’s only one road to take to the nearest city
• Your using the word “pretentious” makes people think you’re pretentious
• The most popular beer on tap is named after the tui bird
• Big old vans full of unshowered backpackers fill the roads
• Everyone is “mate” or “bro” despite how recently you met them
• You can snowboard down a mountain and not see another person on the trail
• Beetroot finds its way into every soup, sandwich, and smoothie
• Gorgeous forest trails exist in everyone’s backyard, but no one uses them
• The phrase “long black” means coffee
• You can casually meet someone and have them invite you to live in their home for a month